60 minutes of pure crap on TV(grey's anatomy ;) ), laundry and an unused videophone

As I was loading my laundry into the communal washing machines here at my apartment building, I flashed back to the most humbling moment of my life. It didn't have anything to do with football as may be expected from competing against superior athletes and always getting knocked down by 300 pound behemoths. My most humbling moment was a lot more personal than football. It rocked me down to my core, caused me to lose a lot of my confidence and shook up everything that I perceived about myself.

Now growing up I always thought there was one sign language, not American Sign Language, not Signing Exact English not even foreign countries' sign language. I just thought the sign language that I used was my own language and everyone that knew sign used it. That perception became more stronger as I crossed back into my own school district and started school in an all-hearing school where I continued to think that there was still only one type of sign language, mine.

going into high school that perception changed when I tried to take French as a foreign language for my foreign language requirement to graduate high school. I dropped it after the first day of classes cuz the interpreter and I couldn't keep up with everything that was going on. So a decision was made. My interpreter would teach me American Sign Language as a foreign language for my graduation requirement.

It wasn't that hard of a step for me, I was able to understand what was being signed but the most difficult part was signing everything correctly and in their proper syntax. Just like a foreign language only you need to sign everything in their right order. I was just 15 or so at the time but little did I know that ASL was making me the person I am now. So with what I learned with those classes, I came away from high school with a unfounded confidence that I knew ASL and that would only build.

Shortly after high school, I began college. I had the opportunity to meet several deaf students that went there. It wasn't a tight-knit deaf community at the university of Findlay but I got by ok because I was used to the hearing world. I had a chance to get to know several students at findlay through another person that I met during the first weekend that knew sign language. So I sorta had a little circle of friends through that person. Everyone was sorta learning some sign language. It wasn't any different from what I went through during junior high and high school. Everyone was sorta learning sign language but not fully. I could appreciate the fact they made the effort.

As the years went by, I took an ASL class my freshman year, stayed involved with the ASL club which had basically dwindled to nothing because it became stagnant but I stayed involved because it gave me something to belong to socially. I thought I was the shit when I was involved in this group but I didn't like any of the responsibilities that came from being involved. I was at some point the vice president or the treasurer over my years with the club and I wasn't much of either in my responsibilities. But regardless it built up my skills in ASL.

During my senior year at Findlay, I took and "audited" a class because I didn't want to worry about any homework responsibilities. But that class was a 1 or 2 credit hour class and it involved going to several different elementary schools in the town of findlay and teaching several choice classes of kids sign language. It was a lot of fun and one of my most rewarding experiences of my life. I have never been comfortable around children that I didn't know especially large groups of them. However they seemed very interested in me and learning "to talk with their hands."

I took all of these experiences back with me when I moved back home after I graduated from the university of findlay. I had a lot to build on. Yet I was unable to find a decent jobs or get any interviews. I felt extremely unqualified. This went on for over a year. Until I finally got a job that I thought would catapult me into the professional life, I was sadly mistaken. This job gave me a chance to be a case manager at a deaf resource center in a slightly small city. It wasn't what I expected. I drove a hour and 15 minutes to get to this job two times a week. However In my dealings at my job I had the chance to meet several disadvantaged deaf people and learned a lot from them. Then through this job I learned of the Ohio Association for the Deaf conference that happened biennially.

It is a very educative workshop that informed us of plenty of resources that are available to the deaf population. But also it was the site of "Miss Deaf Ohio 2005." I had a chance to get to know several of these girls. Well actually I got to talk to all of the contestants since there were only 3 of them. I spent most of the weekend getting to know the people involved with OAD's conference and not only the contestants but the people behind the pageant. We got to hang out socially in between activities and also I got to hang out with some of these people late at night both nights that I was there.

The night I'll remember the most is my last night at the conference. It had basically wrapped up and I was just spending the night there before heading home. I was glad I did even though there was nothing to stay for the next day. I got to stay up late chatting with several of the people that attended the conference and some of them were the pageant contestants and former contestants. We had stayed up chatting about everything. I had a chance to show that I really enjoyed my time there and I really did.

As I was talking about a various topic, most likely deaf culture or sign language I cannot remember but the reaction to me was this, someone told me to "turn my voice switch off." Its a deaf thing where you gesture to turning a switch on your tongue to mimic turning off your voice because I was really signing and using my voice at the same time, which I'm sure was annoying some of these people who are heavily involved with the deaf culture. It caught me off guard and I was speechless. She had said it was ok but it wasn't necessary for me to use my voice since everyone there was deaf. It was an habit, I explained but I realized it wasn't necessary for me to really use my voice though.

So as I stammered in trying to explain myself, an older member of the group we were conversing in stepped in and explained that it was ok. But she did notice some things about me as the weekend went on. She understood that I hadn't really been involved much with any aspect of the deaf community except when I was in elementary school with other deaf students. It was more an issue of how I was behaving around these girls. I admit I was kind of lingering around them a lot over the weekend. I didn't know that it was that noticeable. My explanation for this was that I was so excited to be hanging out around peers of my age and also that they were very pretty girls so there was some flirting involved so naturally I as a guy with no communication barriers couldn't resist.

But her exact quotes were "you're trying too hard."

That really surprised me still. Someone had the audacity to be that blunt and tell me something undesirable about myself. But she was honest with me, and I appreciated that. I might have not been able to see that about myself if not for that experience but when I got involved with the deaf community I have to be respectful of the language and culture and not try to get involved every which way that I can. No matter what a group or culture does, it isn't necessary for it to sway as I sway, nor should it happen at all.

Looking back on this experience, I took the chance and really improved myself and tried to surround myself with the deaf culture as much as I could possibly do. The difference was I was the student and not the expert. I got involved with the Kent state ASL club and the Deaf/ASL culture there and I'm glad I did. This was the basis of the honing of my ASL experience. I was able to meet with several of these people for various activities at least once a week and I had never been happier socially.

This experience I had at the deaf conference led to me being a better rounded person and gave me the humbling experience I needed to become better at ASL. From this was a springboard to being able to Teach the beautiful language at the University of Akron, from which I am grateful for.

In my honest opinion, I don't think you can truly know American Sign Language until you understand the culture behind it. This language isn't just a word for every sign. The language involves signing concepts and actions, it is painting a picture and turning it into a movie. That is exactly what you do with your body when you are fluent in American Sign Language, you're able to describe the most emotional moments with every heartbreaking detail or the most exciting action movie ever created can be just as exciting when described in American sign language. It truly is a language of its own which I hope everyone around me and the world over can start to appreciate.

It wasn't until my humbling experience that I started to see ASL for what it really was. Even as I type this, I know that I have more to learn about this language and more to learn about the deaf culture. I hope that in my future adventures that I can make this a reality for myself and many others.